Deliverance

Ok, seriously have to blog about Saturday’s service.
writing down what i have witnessed today would make witnessing it all the more real..
anws.
pastor mike connell came and it was my first time seeing him and hearing him preach, although i’ve heard many stuff about him.
according to WH, pastor mike is someone who is good at casting out demons. i quote “being near him alone, can make one’s hands shiver.”
amazing huh?
but seriously, i wasn’t expecting the kind of response i got during service.

Preaching title was: keys to overcome disappointment. I thot “eh y PM preaching something not really bible-related?” but of course i din suspect it was a deliverance service. Den he preached and preached and preached. And of course i listened (:
later i happily saw the time @ 7.20pm, and thot service was gonna end soon. I was secretly happy.
but instead i got one of the most (________) experiences in my life.
deliverance just began.
honestly, the feeling wasn’t a good one for me. it was too overwhelming and scary for me.
i was really really really freaked out with all the screaming and crying and wailing. esp the screaming.
I still rmb during the beginning of deliverance, i heard screaming noises somewhere in the distance.
and i innocently thot it was some kids outside playing and screaming for fun (i din noe it was deliverance session yet),but then it persisted.
and innocent me still thot it was the kids making the noise, and thot the security ministry was gg to handle the situation asap. but still it continued.
by then, the girl/lady/woman behind me started sniffing, den crying, den wailing.
den i thot : oh no, is the person behind me having a demon inside of her? Is this one of those casting- out-demons sessions?
den it hit me. The screaming i heard just now did not come from a bunch of playful kids. but from someone who needed deliverance.
OMG!
den more screams and wailings could be heard. from all four corners of expo hall 8.
omg their screams are seriously not that kind of normal scream-cheer kind of scream, not the i-need-to-release-stress kind of scream. but the really desperate kind, the kind of screams that you hear when ppl get tortured. i could really feel the raw need and help in their screams, esp from the neighbour screaming directly behind my seat. it tells me of so many indescribable feelings and things.
and the worst part was the fact that i din noe what to do about it.
I felt that i just needed to do something about it. Anything. Just as long as those terrifying screams would stopped. i felt compelled to turn around and start praying and consoling her, but of course i didn’t.

i still remembered PM wanted all of us to focus and let go of all our disappointment and bitterness in our hearts, and he kept reassuring us that the screams were very common and normal.
but i couldn’t even concentrate lar! (omg the first singlish i wrote!!!)
the screams were affecting me too bloody much. I juz wanted them to stop. At one point of time, i even contemplated about just running out of the church. I really couldn’t take it anymore. The air was seriously suffocating me man. I was really freaked-out.

during the whole deliverance session, i desperately wanted onto hold my neighbour’s arm and really squeezed it. i needed to feel secured, safe, protected and assured that everything was gonna be alright. I NEEDED MY DADDY!
but the person beside me was JX, and i couldn’t bring myself to squeeze his arm (don’t ask y).
and beside him was kok keng. i would’t mind squeezing kok’s arm at all, but obviously i dint.
cos 1stly squeezing one fren’s arm should be as discreet as possible, without attracting any unwanted attention from neighbouring ppl. And 2ndly, what would JX think man?? hahas (1st haha! Omg!)

Ok, back to the deliverance.
half-way thru the deliverance, a man started shouting “i curse u, pastor mike” X4 (initially i thot it was: i love u pastor mike... I swear i don’t know a single thing about deliverance)
den i happily thot : issit normal for a guy to express his love for a pastor during a deliverance session? and declare it so loudly that the whole hall could hear it? Oh wells..good for u dude.
OMG I ACTUALLY THOUGHT OF THAT LAR! and the word CURSE din even cross my mind.
den den, at the climax of the deliverance, where all the people that needed to be delivered went up to the front. A huge commotion happened in front of me.
by then, i was too afraid and scared to know what happened. seriously i had enuff of shocks for 1 day. but i believed a few ppl passed out due to PM’s anointing?
I really don’t wanna know...
there were ppl vomiting, coughing, screaming, wailing and shouting. All around me.
i thot i was slowly losing myself man, after seeing all of this.
But finally the ending praise song began.
i was really really relieved that deliverance finally ended (but not the screaming).
During singing the song, i felt this heaviness in my heart. i really wondered y all this bottled up disappointment in these people’s hearts were so jialat, that they must scream so terrifyingly. My heart went out to them. i can’t put myself in their shoes. I’m sry

even after the whole service ended, there were still some screaming.
Frens actually have to hold onto the screamer. to calm him down? To stop his struggling? To stop him from attacking himself and others?
I really dunno man.

Ok service and deliverance finally ended. margt explained to me the meaning behind deliverance and the reasons for it. she said that one reason behind deliverance was the frighten-ness. if the devil sees u being so afraid of all the screams and everything, it will know that we are scared and will find a way inside our spiritual body and manifest. This is especially so for ppl who are near the screamers (i really dunno wad term to use for them), as the devil will find it easier to attack these people, as they are nearer compared to the others.
after i heard that, i totally freaked out lar!! i was (and still am) bloody scared can. Most prob the devil is inside of me le, and i cant do anything about it.
in short, it means: people who are scared-->devil attacks them-->devil inside of them-->in order to be freed... --> must go for deliverance-->SCREAMING WAILING CRYING AND SHOUTING.
OMG LAR. i will never do that. I’m just not ready for deliverance. Seriously.

Ok in conclusion, if someone were to ask me how i felt about my first deliverance session.
i would tell them this:
it was seriously an experience for me, but i’m not sure whether i want to experience it again.
It was frightening, scary, overwhelming, freaky, suffocating and stressful. In short, it affected me a great big deal.
I’m not ready for deliverance sessions, and the nxt time there is one, i will most probably not go for the service.
I’m now scared of mike connell and his preachings.
i was seriously considering of inviting karen and eddie to come for today’s service, but thank god i dint. If i were them, i would have immediately left the hall when the screaming began. And i will never ever come back to CHC again.
That’s how freaky it is for me.
to be honest, i was abit angry with the church for suggesting that we invite frens to come for PM’s service. I mean who in the right mind would suggest inviting 1st-timers to a deliverance session?
c’mon man!!!

ok thats all for today.
ANW
HAPPY BIRTHDAY IAN!